It’s been an interesting week for me. For some reason, I’ve had a tough time waking
up in the morning (which is VERY unlike me), I’ve been less motivated to work
out, and I’ve noticed my self-esteem falling.
I’ve been doubting myself and thinking more negative thoughts.
When I realized this recent “slump” for what it was and
caught myself in the act, I decided I needed to do something about. For me, reflection through writing is usually
the first step. And as it turns out,
today is a good day to reflect.
When I step back to think about my sudden shift in
disposition, I realize there is really no reason for it. At work, I just received positive feedback (and
not only that, but it was passed along for many of the “higher-ups” to see). I have a boyfriend who showers me with
compliments and encouragements – more than any girl would dream of. I just got to spend an entire weekend with my
family out-of-state.
I’m blessed in so many ways and yet I still see flaws in myself
and my appearance. I agonize in front of
the mirror before I go out – wishing my hair were thicker, wishing I had a
different wardrobe, wishing I looked like someone else. Why?
This is the person God wanted me to be.
And he gave me so many gifts. How
can I be anything but grateful?
Today, in particular, I have turned my focus to these things
because I was reminded of the brevity and fragility of life. Last night, a gunman in Colorado opened fire
in a crowded movie theater, killing and wounding many. It sickens me to think such things happen in
our world. And in a way, it makes me
scared to go on living.
But what’s the alternative? We can’t live our lives in
fear. Life is short enough as it
is. And we can never predict when or
where tragedy will strike. All we can do
is get up each morning and face the day with a smile, counting our blessings
and using our gifts to make the world a better place.
The tragedy last night was a reminder to tell the people you
love that you love them. To not sweat
the small stuff. To live in the moment.
So really, when I think about it, why should I spend one second criticizing myself and doubting my abilities? Instead, I want to hold my head high and show
the world what I’ve got while I’m here.
I want to change my focus by taking it off of myself and placing it on
others instead. I want to make a
difference in people’s lives so that even when I’m gone, I’ll be
remembered.
